- Mrs Pharaoh wrote:
- What are your views on abusive relationships? Why do some people continue to stay in abusive relationships when they know better? When most people think of abuse, they think of physical harm, but mental manipulation can be almost, if not, just as damaging. And ladies, just want to put this out there so you are weary. Saying ladies because they are usually the victims of abusive relationships, but men can also be the sufferers in this situation.
I don't really feel this topic belongs in the "Love" section, so I'm putting it here.
Well like others have stated, I think they're disgusting. Like others I've also lived in a house where I witnessed it. My dad used to beat my mom when I was younger and we lived with him. There are many reasons women may stay in those types of relationships. I thnk
1. some women stay in those types of relationships because they feel they have no other choice.
2. some stay in them because they have no one else to turn to and if they left they would have no where to go.
3. some stay in them because they have children and they don't want the children to be seperated from their parents
4. some of them suffer from battered women's syndrome
5. some stay in them because they want to make their marriages or relationships work.
There are many other reasons.
Some of the women blame themselves and think that they deserve the abuse for whatever reason, that they caused it, even if the reasons are irrational (it's their mind-set that makes them believe that).
In relationships where children are involved the victim isn't only the person being physically or emotionally abused. The children are also suffering from abuse as well. Sometimes children believe that they are the cause for the problems in their home. Other times the abuse affects their behavior. They may become shy or reserved. They may have trouble making friends or trusting people. Their grades are affected because of the instability in their lives.
While some women may stay in those relationships FOR their children, it's better that the child isn't in that kind of environment. While some children want to see their parents together, I learned at a very young age that it was better for them to be apart. The children may be hurt at first but in time they may realize that seperation is all for the best.
Aside from my mother, one of my cousins was murdered by her boyfriend when she was 19. I was 9 when it happened. From what I've heard and remember, her father read her diary after she died and found out that her boyfriend had slit her wrists before but she never told anyone. I think she wanted to break up with him because she wanted to be a teacher and he was too controlling, as a result he killed her
Maybe some of you guys heard about it on the news. After he killed her he buried her under the floorboards under his bed. He hanged himself I think the day after and a police officer found a loose floorboard in his room when they were searching it. That's how they found her.
I just googled her name and found an article from the NY times on what happened.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0CE2DD143EF930A25751C1A960958260
http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/1996/12/13/1996-12-13_slain_ex-girlfriend_sought_p.html
That's why it's important to get out of an abusive relationship as soon as possible and to tell people at the first sign of abuse so they can help you. Doing that could save your life.