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Dee
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PostSubject: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:49 am

What are your views on abusive relationships? Why do some people continue to stay in abusive relationships when they know better? When most people think of abuse, they think of physical harm, but mental manipulation can be almost, if not, just as damaging. And ladies, just want to put this out there so you are weary. Saying ladies because they are usually the victims of abusive relationships, but men can also be the sufferers in this situation.

I don't really feel this topic belongs in the "Love" section, so I'm putting it here.
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:19 am

i think abusive relationships are wrong i should know from it cause my sister been through it more than for 10yrs yet i still never knew why she stayed with him for soo long me and my my big bro tought maybe because he treathend her that if she leave him he might do sumtin idk but all i know ever since she left him one day with my nephew her life had changed shes a better person i used to hate her i could of never called her my sister but now i am more than proud to call her my sister
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:46 pm

Aww that's a touching story. I'm glad your sister finally left him. The people who you think are the most strong can be victims of abuse. One of my best friends from childhood was in an abusive relationship. The guy slapped her around a couple times and he would always put her down. He was a real jerk I had no idea why she stayed with him but I would get very mad that she let him treat her like that, especially since she was such a kind person and she would do anything for this guy, cook, clean, and pay his bills, yet his return of kindness was to treat her like absolute sh!t and cheat. I'm sure if she had stayed with him longer he would have done worse harm to her. The sad thing is, now she has a new boyfriend and she has trouble accepting that anyone would love and respect her, because of what she went through in the past. She endured so much abuse from her ex that its all she expects in a relationship.

I think one of the main reasons people stay in abusive relationships is because they either do not realize what they are going through is abuse, or they feel so hopeless that they accept it because they think they cannot do any better. As the saying goes "Love is Blind". The abuser in the relationship can be very manipulative to get their way. The guy could tell the girl that she cannot do any better on her own, or threaten to harm themselves if their spouse/gf/bf leaves. Don't mean to offend any guys here, I'm using women as the main example since they are usually the more suspectible gender when it comes to abuse.
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:18 pm

Abusive Relationships are bad an disgusting! I hate seeing guys an some girls abuse their boyfriend's/girlfriends. A Relationship that has any form of abuse cannot survive. Abuse should be stopped not just the abusive relationships but all forms of abuse.
As for the Abusive Relationship some of the reasons why person's stay in them is because:
They are threaten...
They have no other alternative or option.
Blinded by love an don't see what it's doing to them.
Think they can't do better
Low Self Esteem..
^^ just a few reasons.
Abusive relationships are sick.
I Despise it to the fullest'
Any form of abusive i despise
The ladies,young girls are mostly being abused either an mostly sexually,phsycially An Emotionaly. Some men are very ignorant an irrational with a brain but don't intend on using it at all.

No one deserves to be abused don't matter the circumstances!
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:28 pm

I agree Jay, if I ever across my friend's ex I would put him six feet under for all the terrible things he's done to her. No one deserves that kind of treatment.
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:06 pm

I mean when you can't control your anger do something then else then hurt someone..
Some ppl are crazy as hell!
there other ways in solving a problem,argument or situation.
Abuse is something that need to be stopped.
I use to see my father hit my mother when i was younger and that **** irritated me! My older bro use to get between them.The only reason she stayed with my dad was because they shared 5 kids together an she wasn't brought up to leave her husband...different upbring huh. She put up with his crap.he use to hit at her an curse her whenever he comes home drunk.Now he can't do that **** or is some good wood lash we gonna put in him lolzz..

I saw people close to me being abused and i couldn't take it.I try my best to help them out. That isn't the way to go.
We all make mistakes
sometimes i cant understand why some people just enjoy being the abusive igorant fools they are! Mad
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:16 pm

Abusive relationships are just plain DISGUSTING! If you are the one getting abused constantly, then why stay in a relationship with the abuser and tolerate the nonsense? I personally think that some people get immuned to it and they cant leave their significant other because they feel that they love them and if they leave, they feel that may never find someone else.
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:37 pm

Hey Girls aren't the only one who would be normally getting or being abused...
Guys do too.
But girls are the ones who are 88% who are mainly being abused mostly phsycially,Sexually an emotionally also...

Some girls abuse their bf's mostly emotionally.
You can abuse someone an don't even know simply by saying somethng hurtfull to them/Or hurting their feelings.Make them feel like they not worth anything at all.We all abuse our parents,Siblings,Family members an friends also without even knowing it at times due to the led of anger or passion.

Abusive ought to be stop period!
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:55 am

You can abuse someone an don't even know simply by saying somethng hurtfull to them/Or hurting their feelings.Make them feel like they not worth anything at all
So true.
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PostSubject: Re: Abusive Relationships   Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:41 pm

Mrs Pharaoh wrote:
What are your views on abusive relationships? Why do some people continue to stay in abusive relationships when they know better? When most people think of abuse, they think of physical harm, but mental manipulation can be almost, if not, just as damaging. And ladies, just want to put this out there so you are weary. Saying ladies because they are usually the victims of abusive relationships, but men can also be the sufferers in this situation.

I don't really feel this topic belongs in the "Love" section, so I'm putting it here.

Well like others have stated, I think they're disgusting. Like others I've also lived in a house where I witnessed it. My dad used to beat my mom when I was younger and we lived with him. There are many reasons women may stay in those types of relationships. I thnk

1. some women stay in those types of relationships because they feel they have no other choice.
2. some stay in them because they have no one else to turn to and if they left they would have no where to go.
3. some stay in them because they have children and they don't want the children to be seperated from their parents
4. some of them suffer from battered women's syndrome
5. some stay in them because they want to make their marriages or relationships work.

There are many other reasons.

Some of the women blame themselves and think that they deserve the abuse for whatever reason, that they caused it, even if the reasons are irrational (it's their mind-set that makes them believe that).

In relationships where children are involved the victim isn't only the person being physically or emotionally abused. The children are also suffering from abuse as well. Sometimes children believe that they are the cause for the problems in their home. Other times the abuse affects their behavior. They may become shy or reserved. They may have trouble making friends or trusting people. Their grades are affected because of the instability in their lives.

While some women may stay in those relationships FOR their children, it's better that the child isn't in that kind of environment. While some children want to see their parents together, I learned at a very young age that it was better for them to be apart. The children may be hurt at first but in time they may realize that seperation is all for the best.

Aside from my mother, one of my cousins was murdered by her boyfriend when she was 19. I was 9 when it happened. From what I've heard and remember, her father read her diary after she died and found out that her boyfriend had slit her wrists before but she never told anyone. I think she wanted to break up with him because she wanted to be a teacher and he was too controlling, as a result he killed her Sad Maybe some of you guys heard about it on the news. After he killed her he buried her under the floorboards under his bed. He hanged himself I think the day after and a police officer found a loose floorboard in his room when they were searching it. That's how they found her.

I just googled her name and found an article from the NY times on what happened.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0CE2DD143EF930A25751C1A960958260

http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/1996/12/13/1996-12-13_slain_ex-girlfriend_sought_p.html

That's why it's important to get out of an abusive relationship as soon as possible and to tell people at the first sign of abuse so they can help you. Doing that could save your life.
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