Jokes

Balgobin who is always drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the Corentyne river, performed by some white man pastor, who came to Guyana on a "crusade".

Balgobin proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

Balgobin looks back and says, "Yes sir , meh ready fa find am."

The minister then dunks him under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"Nooo!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, meh did not, Mista Pasta."

The preacher in disgust holds Balgobin under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"

Balgobin wipes his eyes and says to the preacher...
"Yuh sure dis is where he fall in?"

heres a reallie big joke..

my brother came home todai from college...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

heres a even bigger one...hes getting on my nerves AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

heres an even bigger and better one...hes ugly and he smells
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

mizzstarlight wrote:

heres a reallie big joke..

my brother came home todai from college...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

heres a even bigger one...hes getting on my nerves AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

heres an even bigger and better one...hes ugly and he smells
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

im ugly...i smell?

have u looked in the mirror lately? have u ever looked at ur self wen u wake up? have u ever looked at urself wen ur whining and crying" DADDDDDDY TARIQS BOTHERING MEEEEEEE HE WANTS ME TO GO TO MASJID AND I DONT WANNA GO BECAUSE THAT IS SO NOT KOOL DADDDY. NONE OF THE KOOL KIDS ARE DOING IT DADDDDY"

As a boat is about to sink, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces: "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks: "Is there someone on this ship who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says: "Here, iron this!".

hahahahahah lol iron lol guess that wasn the inda iron she wanted lol

LOLZZ...poor woman..lolz..

lolzz...someone just sent it to me..so I suggest to post it in here...lolzz.

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."

"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.

"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."

The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!"

"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.

"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.


Imagine, the father!

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescript

50th Anniversary

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage
marathon, the minister asked:

Can you take a few minutes and share some insight
into how she managed to live with the same man all these years.

She replied to the audience, "Well, I treated him with respect, spent money on
him but mostly I took him traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired "Trips to where?"

"For our 25th anniversary, I took him to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all wives.
Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your husband on your 50th anniversary?

"She replied: "I'm going to go and get him."

Kids will say the funniest things but sometimes I wonder if teachers really keep records like the following. Regardless these statements seems to be fairly accurate. Especially the one about the willy. Hope you enjoy. Why not keep a records of what they write.



1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round
you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big
teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's
not my friend no more.. (Kylie age 6)

5. A dolphin breaths through an ******* on
the top of its head. (Billy age

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots,
and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the
trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes,
when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating
beans. (William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I
like their shiny tails. And how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9. I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby
brother is always screaming and being sick,
my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think
what to write. (Amy age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have
to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very
cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under
the water. Two divers can't go down alone,
so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age

13. On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She
fell off when she was going very fast. She
says she won't do it again because water
fired right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)

lol number 5, 11 and 13 are very funny lol

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin & I'm not! Is there anything you can do to help me?"

The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."

The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with he
"slips it in" and just then she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that?"

The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping."

The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, it's got my balls!"

lolzzz Ammelia..so funny...

A woman answers the door to a market researcher. "Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"

"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."

"Do you use it for anything else?"

"Like what?"

"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."

"Oh, of course. Yes, I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out!"