Jokes

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were
able
to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of
another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but
he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"

LOL.. hang him 2 dry

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?"asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around,"
said the saleslady,
as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color
and material imaginable.

"Actually,
even with all of this variety,
there are really only
four types of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked
about the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic,
the Salvation Army,
the Presbyterian,
and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled,
the man asked about
the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
"It is all really quite simple. ...

The Catholic type
supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of molehills."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...



They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen

I find it funny, don't know about u ppl.

I'm .. lol

ok i won't talk abt mine lol

President Bharat Jagdeo was on state business with the Queen of
England.
He asks her, "How do you run an efficient government? Any tips you
can give me?"
And the queen says, "Well, the most important thing
is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bharat frowns, and replies, "Well, how do I know the people around
me are really intelligent or not?"
The queen takes a little sip of tea, and says, "Oh, that's easy.
You just ask them a riddle." Then the queen pushes the button on
her intercom and says "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
So Tony Blair walks into the room.
"Yes, my queen?"
The queen smiles at Tony and says, "Tony, answer me this would
you?
Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother,
and it's not your sister. Who is it?" Without missing a beat, Tony Blair says, "Well, that would be me."
The queen smiles and says, "Very good, thank you!"
So, back in Guyana, Bharat is a bit puzzled. So, he asks to speak
with Rohee.
"Hey Clement, answer this for me, would you? Your
mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and
it's not your sister... who is it?" Rohee frowns and says "Well,
well, I'm not sure... let me get back to you on this." So, Rohee
goes to all his advisors, and asks everyone he can, but no one can
answer it for him.
Finally, he ends up at a party and saw Moses Nagamootoo. So he
went over to him, "HeyMoses... can you answer this for me?
Your mother and your father have a child, and it's not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?" Moses took a sip, and said, "Da easy man, it's me!" Rohee smiles and said "Thanks!" So, Rohee goes back into the Office and tells Bharat, "Well, I was
thinking a lot and I finally figured out the answer to that
riddle! It's Moses Nagamootoo.
Bharat quietly said - "No you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

hahahha good one

lol, good joke

lol u ppl got wierd jokes

lolz.....lolz...ewww

I can't remember if I posted this these before....


Two ninety-year-old West Indian men, Neville and Victor, have been friends all their lives.



Vic is dying, and so Nev comes to visit him everyday.



'Vic,' says Nev, 'You know how we both like cricket all we life, an'how we play together for plenty years. Vic, you gotta do me one favour.


When you go to Heaven, and I know you goin' deh, somehow you gotta let me know if they got cricket in Heaven.'



Vic looks up at Nev from his death
bed, and says, 'Nev, you is meh bes' frien' for a long time. If it is possible, I gon do it for you.'



And shortly after that, Vic passes on.


It is midnight a couple of nights later. Nev is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of whitelight and a voice calls out to him, 'Nev.Nev.'


'Is who ?' says Nev sitting up suddenly. 'Is who ?'


'Nev, is me, Vic.'


'You lie. You is not Vic. Vic just dead.'


'I telling you,' insists the voice. 'Is me, Vic!'


'Vic is you? Whey you deh?'


'I in heaven,' says Vic , 'and I gotta tell you, I got real good news and a likkle bad news.'


'So, tell me de good news fus',' says Nev.


'De good news is that they got cricket in heaven. Better yet, all we old buddies who gone before we are there. Better yet, we all young men again. Better yet, it always got sunshine and it never rains, and best of all, we can play cricket all we want, and we never get tired!'


'Really?' says Nev, 'Dat is fantastic, wonderful beyond meh wildest dreams! But, wha's de bad news?'


'You opening de batting next Tuesday.'



..............................................................................................


Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to
make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by
saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After
a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I
hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
* * * * * * * * *
* *
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold
cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To
make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked
Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
* * * * * * * * *
* *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying
attention in class. She called on him and said,
"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny
quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
* * * * * * * * *
* *
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to
their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a
bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals One of the
youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the
photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The
detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny
asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?"
* * * * * * * * *
* *
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He
watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his
hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After
a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to
make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I
buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS
guy wants to buy Mom."
* * * * * * * *
* *
If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here. Pass it
on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your
friends! They like Johnny too ya know